For 14 months, I woke up to feed my son, Jax at least twice a night—sometimes more. As I started working more, exhaustion consumed me. I was running on fumes and couldn’t bear to be held captive by a tiny human for another minute. Every time I tried to sneak my breast out of Jax’s mouth, they’d start nursing actively again. Were they really still hungry? I felt trapped and tethered to my baby, and resentment began to creep in.

One night, after spending over an hour trying to free myself without waking Jax, I hit my breaking point. I stormed out of the room, grabbed a pillow and blanket, and told my partner, “I’m sleeping in the car. If you want to try cry-it-out, do it. I’ve been the nighttime parent for 14 months, and now it’s your turn.”

I spent hours in the car, listening to music. The next morning, Daniel told me, “Jax cried the entire night. We need to try something different.” So, he took over bedtime, gradually moving farther away from Jax over several weeks. It worked, to some extent, but for years, Jax would still sneak into our room after 4-5 hours of sleep. If it bothered me, Daniel would handle it because he had fully assumed the role of nighttime parent.

Fast forward: I kept giving sleep and nighttime parenting advice to friends and clients. One day, someone asked, “Why don’t you do this as a business?” That moment sparked a new chapter. I pursued training through the Sleep Counseling Institute with Moorea Malatt. When I shared my story, she pointed out something that shifted my perspective: cry-it-out likely continued to be a struggle for Daniel because Jax was waiting for me to come back. I was the one who needed to set the boundary for it to work effectively.

That realization hit hard. It made so much sense—I needed to establish a clear boundary around my body and my role at night. Eventually, Jax night-weaned, and I actively weaned them at age 2. I’ve never regretted being a responsive breastfeeding parent at night. But I do deeply regret letting my 14-month-old cry for over seven hours, believing I might return if they cried long enough. Even now, writing this, I feel a pang of mom guilt.

That experience shaped my mission. I want to be the guide I didn’t have—to help families make informed choices that work for everyone. Sleep solutions should honor the needs of the entire family. After all, when mom’s mental health thrives, everyone benefits. Research shows that maternal mental well-being is key to a happy, healthy family.

Let’s find what works best for your family, together.

With Love, 

Cat Halek IBCLC
Holistic Sleep Coach